Has anyone else noticed how stupid girls are that flat iron their hair daily? I have to admit, I do occassionally use a flat iron, even though my Asian hair is already luxurious; but for some reason, girls that do this every day seem to be idiots. Maybe it's from petting it all the time to make sure it is in fact still straight. Or maybe something about the iron kills brain cells. All I know is these morons keep sitting around, fondling their own hair, mouths hanging open like a stroke patient, chewing gum like it's their job. I wish that was their job because they are awful at everything else. I'm sure they're a decent lay, but alas, God did not bless me with a penis. Therefore, they are no good to me.
So, I wonder if we could somehow convince our enemies to constantly flat iron their hair, we could slowly watch them become giggling idiots. They'd forget about fighting and strategizing and concentrate more on spray tanning and making all their words run together when they talk. Then we could set up a fake Charlotte Russe store and just lock the door when they all ran in. They'd die a slow death when we read them Shakespeare and asked them who was on a twenty five dollar bill.
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